This business of raising children

I recently posted an article I read to my facebook wall, titled “I am not afraid to raise daughters.” Powerful message. It was also a little convicting, because I have said many times that I don’t know what I would do with a daughter.

Would I love to have a daughter? Absolutely. At this point in my life, God has blessed me with 3 amazing, crazy, energetic sons, whom I love more than life itself. If we ever have a daughter, we will be thrilled. But I admit, it scares me to think about it.

I absolutely understand the viewpoint of the author and why people are afraid to have daughters. But my reasons aren’t quite the same. If I had a daughter, I would be her example. She would look up to me as someone to imitate. She would learn the things that I taught her. For a while, she would love the things I love. Eventually, when hormones start playing their roller-coaster role, she would do anything to NOT be like me. She would love things I hate and hate things I love. We would fight, because I would want her to be like me. And hopefully, if she’s anything like me, when the hormones settle down, she will want to talk to her mother everyday about something. Anything. Because we are best friends. And if she didn’t want to be my best friend, my heart would break. And that scares me.

I am SO thankful that I have a husband who takes his job as a father very seriously. He knows the incredible importance his role is in our son’s lives. I am thankful my role for them is secondary, but just as important. I get to be “home-base”. I get to nurture, to feed, to encourage, to kiss away the tears, to be the comforting place they run to when they need it, to be a lap to sit on, a soft cheek to kiss.

Is it easier to raise sons? From experience I have no idea. From what I hear, yes, it is at points in their life. In some ways, boys are simpler to understand. I can send them to pee in the bushes- that in itself is huge. But I look at our world today, and I look at genders and how they play out in our society. The majority of people in jail? Men. The majority of leaders? Men. The people that get to become dads? Men. It’s important that we do this right.

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How my kids turn out does not completely depend on how we raise them. But it matters A LOT. I am thankful God saw fit to put three boys in our family. Each with their own individual strengths, weaknesses, personalities, drives, passions, and futures. I am thankful that I don’t care about a dirty house, messed up hair, clean clothes or toy swords and toy dart guns laying around.

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When I get too relaxed in my thinking that I don’t have to be an example for boys, because I certainly don’t want them to be just like me, I have to remember that they are looking to me as an example. Already, at their young ages, they know they want a helper one day, a best friend to share a life with, a woman to hug and kiss, a soft spot in their wild masculine ways. And I hope, just hope, that they will want to find that someone who is a little bit like ME. And that scares me too. 🙂

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