I’ve been in the middle of transition lately, as we have shifted (yet again) our schoolroom. It was at originally at our home, then we moved to another country for 6 weeks and floundered around, then we moved back home, then we moved the classroom to another location, and back home again. We’ve been homeschooling for 7 months.
I dislike transition. But I seem to CRAVE it when my life gets peaceful, when we establish routines, when we come to know what to expect. WHY?!?!!
I guess I’m used to it. I really don’t know how to do routine. (this makes my husband crazy. Let’s be honest.)
Having moved more times than I can count (because does 6 weeks for language school or 4 months for other language school, or 2 months for orientation count, or 6 months for 4 different furloughs), lived on 3 different continents in 5 different countries, I don’t know how many houses, and bought how many new pillows…. Wow, this kind of run-on sentence doesn’t fix itself easily, does it? I’ll leave it. I hope you get the point. I’ve moved a lot. Transition is my life.
But it’s not just me. It’s not even people who live overseas, necessarily. Sometimes life is like a jigsaw puzzle where the pieces keep moving. (I don’t know where I heard that but it makes SO much sense!) The pieces start falling into place, we start feeling like we know what we are doing, we have an idea of what the future will look like. We get settled into something and then BAM!, something changes. We meet the man of our dreams (I barely passed chemistry in high school because I was too focused on studying my future husband.) We start a new job. We get married. We get pregnant. Babies go through phases, and just when we figure them out, they enter a new phase. Then they become kids with phases. I presume they become teenagers with phases, and I dearly pray mine live long enough to find out! Some days….
So really, this is kind of normal, this transitionary life. Some of us, like me, live it to the max (my kids sleep in different beds every night- trying to establish routine is hard for me!) Some of us prefer schedules and routines, but transition is going to come whether we embrace or not, and upset whatever plans we have set in motion. Or not set, in my case.
In all my craziness, I keep trying to move the pieces around to “make it work.” Whether it’s putting the kids in different beds to try a new way to make a successful night’s sleep, or rearranging the living room furniture for the umpteenth time, or trying a new exercise schedule (my longest stretch was a whole summer. There was childcare- great motivator! Usually I’m good for 2 weeks before I change it up), or shifting my homeschool classroom all over the globe…. I keep trying to finish the puzzle.
It ain’t gonna happen. It’s just not. The puzzle will not get finished.
Because life changes. I can plan my way but the Lord directs my steps. I can plan my days, but there will be some Holy interruptions which need to be. I can fight and I can scream and cry, but some things in life just ARE and we have to adjust.
“In their hearts, man (mostly women) plan their course, but the Lord determines their steps.” Proverbs 16:9
So, I’m not going to do anything drastic. I can’t promise I won’t rearrange some room in my house or start a new project that will probably not last, or try some new healthy food that I will come to realize tastes gross….. But what I AM going to do is let go of the guilt about transitioning. Because it’s normal. My life will change, and I will change. I have felt like I’m noncommittal because I won’t stick to many things, and I feel like I embrace change a bit too much. But I’m calling it “going with the flow”.
And I’m throwing the proverbial puzzle out the window. If you can’t finish a puzzle, why try? I’m not going to figure it all out and find that a perfect routine with a perfect meal plan is going to make my family happy, educated, and well-behaved. Each day is a new adventure, sometimes routine, sometimes crazy, but an adventure, nonetheless.
So I embrace the adventure, with a smile in my heart, and wait expectantly for tomorrow while being present in today.