The last few months of transition have been somewhat of an emotional upheaval for me. Hence, the lack of writing, since I try not to vent my dark places to the internet. You’re welcome.
But when we walk through those valleys, He is faithful to walk alongside us, and does lead us to those streams of cool and calm waters (Prov 23), and that’s where I’m finding myself now. While my circumstances haven’t settled down at all, my heart is settling as God’s tender message to me is becoming clear.
JUST KEEP TRUSTING.
When there are unknowns in our life, we have a tendency to grasp a little harder at what we can control or know. From God’s perspective, this must look ridiculous, but in His loving grace, He has put this message on my heart, over and over again.
As we prepared to leave our home in Kenya for our 6-month time in the US, I was worried about my English class, my students, the relationships that are forming and the seeking hearts that have been asking questions. Who would take care of them?
Just keep trusting. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Prov 3:5-6)
As we look to the future and the bigger responsibilities of my husband’s job, and the things and people that WE believe need to be in place for it to all work, I have worried about the WHO, and the WHEN. What if it doesn’t work out how I want?
Just keep trusting. “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” (Pr. 19:21) His ways are better than my ways. But wouldn’t it be great if they are the same?!?
As we enter homeschooling for a third year, this time while traveling around the US, how will we make it work? Am I screwing up my kids? Is their education going to be enough?
Just keep trusting. “I will provide grass in the fields for your cattle, and you will eat and be satisfied.” (Deut. 11:15) While my children aren’t exactly cattle (close, though), God is going to provide what they need, including their education.
Just keep trusting. “So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” (Gen. 50:21) He’s got this. He will open the right doors.
It’s a simple message. We are simply human, frail and limited in our knowledge and abilities. And yet, it’s not about us. It’s not about our agenda. God is doing something bigger than we could dream, and I’m honored to be a part of it. The details are not for me to worry about, since the God who created the universe also happens to love me dearly, and has promised it’s all going to work out just fine.